Saturday, September 1, 2007

Good Karma



Yeah, so in case you're wondering if it's Christmas yet...

And I must say, in the Fuck It! post, I was pretty upset but still feeling good for some odd reason. So I left you all with some good karma. Then, I turn around and a bunch of half decent/good things started happening. And that's where I'm standing now. Moral of the post: just love.

Because of this, my coworkers (who, by the way, couldn't ever be more amazing) think I'm the sentimental one.

Today I'm feeling:

almost very good

Friday, August 31, 2007

A Girl named "Peggy" and sangwiches



Okay, it's clear I'll never catch up. Nor will I live a very productive and happy life. But I must say that I do absolutely LOVE the vast majority of my coworkers, and I hate myself for it. Ms. Davis has invited me out to drink and fraternize with the colleagues on a couple of occasions and I have not once regretted it. I'm sorry I've been neglecting my readers, but I'm working full time for the first time in my entire life and I absolutely am crazy about the folks I work with. All except for one lousy manager. And even another manager has asked me to overlook the one lousy manager (who, by the way, actually interviewed me). This is the same job I interviewed for and cursed during the interview. This is the same job I sat through and got a text message in. It's fucking amazing. A guy asked me the other day if I actually got paid to work there. I just finished my second week of full time employment, in my life, plus I'm maintaining a rapport with the Koreans I tutor, and I feel totally in place.

And then there's Ms. Davis, who I'm not related to because she's apparently Lithuanian. She invited me the first time, when we became the 2's booze crew... and was the only skirt the second time we went debauching and was totally chill with it. What girl would be down for the cause like that without any wet blanket tendencies? Not a dame exists... except Ms. blue-haired Davis. Of course half the entourage is homosexual... but meh!

Today I'm feeling:

An intense crush on a girl named "Peggy."

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Fuck it!


Name that missing vowel. Oh, there's a consonant on the loose too.

Fuck it, I'll admit it. I love everybody! I LOVE you. Even though I'm "learning" every time I turn the corner. And by learning, I mean the hard way. And by the hard way, I mean by paying for it. It seriously is like tu-fucking-ition.

And I've got a sinus infection. The facial pain is immense. No Leila, it's not sympathy pains either. And I love you. Big hugs.

Today I'm feeling:

Amorous

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Subtitled



You think you know a person...

So this woman I tutored, a Spanish national, stars in a feature fucking film! Belen Rueda, I recognized the name in the opening credits the moment it popped up. Holy shit, I taught her [some] English. Yes, it was her and she was awesome in the film. El Ofanato. The Orphanage. It's like I was the personal language coach to a Hollywood star. Go me.

And Phisoderm. Generally, the best facial soap I've ever used in my entire life. I go without it for a couple months, and I break out like mad. Pimple here, pimple there to start. Then it's a full on face full of pock marks and bumps. It's only alleviated by one thing. Phisoderm bar soap. I even tried the liquid stuff after I realized no brick and mortar retailers carry it 'round these here parts. Then I read the reviews. And I felt like I was no longer alone in this world. Just for that minuscule, fleeting moment.

And, the best thing in life: Tegan and Sara apparel, their latest EP and their trailer talk videos on MySpace.com. I'm such a lesbian in a past life.

Today I'm feeling:

like real Sean

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

lemme update ya



My people, what's up!?!?!?!?!

It's been a while. I've resumed playing basketball and boy, where has my conditioning gone? Hit the track the day after to try and recoup my long lost breath, and my knee is mush. Nothing. So I applied for this full time job that gives full benefits from day one, without a probationary period. My goal being to get my knee looked at. Not sure if that will work out, but I'll see.

Movies? I saw BadLand and balled tears. Man did I cry. I was Jerry, the main character. Depressed man that he was, I was almost everything he is. Go see it. Except if you're a woman. The women in the theater didn't like it at all.

Today I'm feeling:

Manic

Monday, August 27, 2007

AntiDepressant



This is the worst time of year for me. Admittedly, I'm at my lowest just as the calendar is about to read "December". Thankfully, my people have been aces. Maykin, who I've showered with constant sound advice for the past couple months gave me a ring today just to have me come over and do something. The other night, he bought me some fried rice and we played pool on his dime. I spoke to a good, great, grand friend in Kansas tonight too. It's funny, but just thinking about her puts the biggest, brightest smile on my face. It's weird, but she's a completely platonic friend who I associate with nothing more than smiling. And, of course there are the new folks. The weird short Russian friend of mine who is such a pleasure to be around, or the eccentric organic head with the ornate forehead jewelry and the penchant for ostentatious rings. And then there are my friends who are fairly new, though we're very familiar. Like Jenny, who I love to bits. Or Lindsey, who I only know through iChat but we'll inevitably share oxygen at some point in the future. Good times friends.

A friend recently admitted to me she really wants to quit cursing. I thought about it and responded in a way that shocked even me. Sometimes, I really outdo myself. I told her to keep cursing, citing it's emotional efficacy. These were earnestly wise words. It frustrates the soul when, in speaking to someone, a flat affect or a blank stare meets you in response to your input. However, a failsafe way to ensure a reaction, even though it'll more than likely always be a negative response, is to curse. We know when we curse people respond poorly. But why do we curse? Is it out of habit? Really? Why pick up the habit? I'll tell you why, because we, as people, the grand communicators we are, need feedback. We need to know, definitively, that what we've conveyed was in fact received by our intended audience. It feels good, if even in the subconscious. That's why we talk, after all. To be heard. And nothing elicits a response like one of those forbidden four letter words. From childhood we've been dared to use 'em. And from childhood, it was one of the best ways to NOT be ignored or drowned out. Curse and someone will say something to you. Or show emotion. It's almost guaranteed. Honestly, being ignored has far harsher consequences than merely being looked at as obnoxious because of our choice of language. It shocked me to the point the shock truly has yet to wear off that I was capable of this thought. Man, do I ever give sound advice. Moral of the story, any reaction qualifies your existence. It's better for the spirit to be acknowledged, than to be. I'm not saying the verbal abuse tirade should be a daily ritual, but I will implore everyone to see the value in being acknowledged and chose tactful situations for the use of the lowbrow language.

Today I'm feeling:

qualified

Natalie, from Kansas, and I talked about Kate Tucker and the Sons of Sweden with great glee. For that, today's recommended listening is linked. Please feel free to listen to the new album, in its entirety, for free! Over and over and over again. It's the soundtrack to today's post.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Defeat


Fall 2007 on Eastern Pkwy, B'klyn, NY

I can't shake this feeling of defeat. I'm going backwards in like everything I do. Money is being spent faster than it's being made, though I hear everyone shares that complaint, and my own self efficacy is constantly eroding with each glimpse in the mirror.

Them shits need to be shattered.

My Thanksgiving dinner plate overflowed with yum yum food, but it gave me the runs. And when I had left overs today, more belly running.

And to all this seasonal cheer, I say fuck it.

Today I'm feeling:

defeated